Lessons

Image1: My host mother eyeing up some woman´s sheep
Image2: My host mother and our new sheep

There is no better way to learn what is or is not acceptable in a culture than by observing an older member of that culture for a period of time. On Saturday, my host mother invited me to join her on a trip to the market in Otavalo. I thought it would be a great opportunity to pick up some “cultural pointers,” if you will. In the short 4 or 5 hours we spent together, I learned 4 important lessons for survival in Ecuadorian culture.

Lesson one: Respect.

Respect for elders is a custom in Ecuadorian culture that can be seen and heard pretty much anywhere you go. On the bus on the way to Otavalo my host mother and I were sitting in the front two seats on the left side of the bus, with me closest to the aisle. The closer we got the market, the more the bus began to fill up. Finally, when we were about 15 minutes away, the bus filled up completely. At the next stop, a very elderly woman decked out in a traditional indigenous skirt, top, and jewelry, slowly made her way up the stairs. She passed by our row of seats but seeing that there was nowhere to sit, returned to the front of the bus. I began to get up to give my seat to the old woman when my mother gently pulled me back down and motioned that I move closer to her seat. At the same time, the elderly woman sat down on my armrest and faced the aisle. She then leaned back to use my shoulder as her backrest. My mind wandered back to one of our previous culture classes when the PC warned us that our personal space would be invaded. The woman situated herself and scooted her way back until she was comfortably supporting all of her weight on my body. I turned and attempted to accommodate the woman while trying not to look as uncomfortable as I felt. I glanced over at my mother who was now watching the view out the window as if nothing out of the ordinary was happening. I did my best to act the same way despite the 80 year-old stranger who was practically in my lap.

Lesson two: Run.

In Ecuador, and many other South American countries at that, the concept of pedestrian right-of-way does not exist. This became very evident every time we attempted to cross the street and a car was headed our way. Rather than waiting for the car to pass or expecting it to slow down for us, my 45 year-old host mother would break into a dead sprint to beat the car across the street and avoid getting run over. I followed suit. When I explained to her that in the U.S. if someone is walking in the street the car has to slow down or stop she just laughed. “Hahaha, not here! If you are in the way, the car will honk to let you know. And if you still don’t move quickly enough, you are going to have problems.” I laughed too even though I found that fact more disturbing than funny. Ironically, I got a lesson in pedestrian safety soon after our conversation when walking in the street at the market. I was admittedly being a liiiiiittle too touristy (taking pictures and not really paying attention to what was going on around me) when a taxi cab honked and sped by about 6 inches from my left foot. At the same moment, my host mother grabbed my right arm and yanked me towards the sidewalk. I just stood there with a dumb/shocked look on my face.

“Umm…he almost hit me.”

“Yes, he did,” she laughed. “But he did honk.”

Lesson three: Haggle.

Once we had walked around for a bit at the market, my host mother decided that she really wanted to look for a sheep to buy and bring home. I found this interesting since we had come on the bus. I didn’t really understand how we would get a sheep home, but smiled and said, “well lets look for one then!” Like an answer to my mother’s prayers, a younger-looking indigenous woman walked by with a sheep on a leash within minutes (first picture). The following conversation ensued:

“Wow, what a beautiful sheep you have there!”

“Yes, it is a very nice sheep, female.”

“I see. I have been looking for a sheep and that one looks very nice, how much?”

“Thirty dollars.”

“Thirty? Oh, that is too much. I only have 25.” My mother looked over at me.

At this point I realized that I was also a part of the price negotiation. I did my best to help my mother.

“Yeah, 30 is a lot,” I said. “Twenty-five sounds fair.”

“Twenty-five? No. This sheep has been raised well, she is worth no less than 30.”

“Well, I will not have enough money to take the bus home, I will only pay 25.” My mother wouldn’t budge.

“Sorry, I cannot sell this sheep for that little.”

“Ok, then I will keep looking.” My mother said as she motioned for me to keep walking.

We had walked about two blocks and I had completely forgotten about the sheep when the woman somehow found us in a crowd of hundreds of people.

“Thirty.” She said.

“Twenty-five.” Said my mother.

“Fine.” Said the woman realizing that my mother was not going to pay a penny more.

She handed the sheep over to my mother (second picture) who handed it to me as she dug out her money.

Once the woman had left I asked how we would get our new sheep home.

“On the bus!” My mother laughed.

“Of course!” I said.

I will save that one for a different blog.

Lesson 4: Fib.

Once we had our new sheep in tow, we decided to do a little more shopping. We were headed for a yarn stand when a woman approached us to inquire about our sheep.

“Are you selling that sheep?”

“No, I just bought it.”

“I see. How much did you buy it for?”

“Twenty-seven.”

More people began to gather around and ask about our sheep. I realized that the amount we paid for it increased with each person that approached us. By the time we were ready to leave, the twenty-five dollar sheep had more than doubled in price and people were still interested in buying it. When I asked my mother why she wouldn´t just take the 50 bucks and buy two sheep, she said that the one we had was exactly what she was looking for and she wouldn´t sell it even if she were offered a hundred dollars. I then asked her what the point of telling people she bought it for more than she did was. She bluntly explained to me that it was none of thier business how much she paid for the sheep.

On another note, this Thursday is the day we find out where we will me moving for two years. They make a pretty big deal about our site assignments and everybody is understandably anxious. I would reveal where I hope to be sent but I don´t want to jinx it (yes, I still believe in jinx). Anyways, cross your fingers/pray/think about me or whatever you do this week. I will update as soon as I know where I am headed. Love!!