Culture Shock

I have never had the urge to kill an animal. Until last night.

It was about 2 a.m. and I had just drifted off to sleep when a dog decided to camp out right outside my window and bark. No, not bark, howl. I should mention here that lately I have had some trouble sleeping. And by lately, I mean the past two months. It could be my roommate’s snoring, it could be the constantly barking street dogs, or it could be the sensation that there are insects crawling on me all night. My best guess would be D) all of the above. So when I finally do fall asleep and someone or thing has the nerve to wake me up, its not pretty. I tossed in bed for about another half hour listening to the dog bark. I fantasized about busting out the front door, grabbing some large rocks off of the road and taking care of the dog Old Testament style, when it stopped. Silence. I laid there for a moment wondering if the dog was trying to trick me. Nothing. I laughed at how angry I almost got and closed my eyes to sleep.

“WOOF.”

Without thinking, I sprung up out of bed and headed for my window. I whipped it open and spotted the dog. He was a large brownish-grey shaggy mutt and he sat comfortably on the dirt road barking at something far away. I didn’t care what he was barking at. He was keeping me up and now he had to pay. I tore through my room looking for something I could throw at this dog (there is no screen on the window, hence the mosquito issue), when I saw them - pens. No, not the ones you sent me, mom. And not the ones you send me either, Jess. This was a pack of 10 pens that I had proudly bought at the 50 cent store only to find out later that not a single one of them worked. I guess I should have seen that coming. Anyways, the point is I thought I had wasted 50 cents - until now. I grabbed the pens, returned to my window and took aim at the dog. By about pen #6 I think I had actually only hit the dog once. Alarmed at first, the dog got up to leave. But when he realized he was in no actually danger, he sniffed each one of the pens to make sure that they weren’t food, laughed at me, and slowly walked away. I sat there with a scowl on my face and empty pen package clutched in my fist, muttering obscenities at a dog that was now hundreds of feet away. I waited a minute for my heart rate to slow and crawled back into bed.

They say that when somebody enters a new culture he or she goes through a series of phases before becoming comfortable with the new norms and expectations. I would like to think that my recent mood swings, lack of sleep, and sometimes erratic behavior are due to a minor, passing case of culture shock. Let me explain.

The Honeymoon Phase.
During the first phase of culture shock, everything about the new culture seems fun, romantic, and interesting. This was back when I was excited about Ecuadorian food, I laughed about their lack of punctuality, and smiled when people stared at me as I walked down the street. It didn’t take too long, however, for Ecuador to start to lose its bright and shiny appeal.

The Negotiation Phase.
I feel like they call this phase the “negotiation” phase because convincing yourself not to jump on the next plane back to the States takes some negotiation. I think this phase could be more appropriately called the “why does everything about this country get on my nerves” phase. Things that used to be funny become annoying. Things that were once interesting, become annoying. And things that you used to find amusing become…how can I put this…? Annoying. This phase is the shock. I have plenty to say about the negotiation phase.

The men here often act like pubescent teenage boys. When I (or any of the female volunteers at that) walk down the street here a constant “tsssst, tssssst, tsssst,” sound follows me. The hissing is often accompanied by a catcall or similar type of inappropriate comment. And while I know that my Old Navy flip flops, baggy jeans (by Ecuadorian standards of course), t-shirt, and four-month-old extensions are pretty sexy, c’mon guys, they’re not THAT sexy. The most bothersome place to walk in my town is a half-block strip right by a couple of the offices that I work at. I call this strip “the gauntlet” because its where all of the taxi and tricimoto drivers park and wait for customers.

There is never a dull moment walking through the gauntlet. Now, I have to add here for my parents’ and grandfather’s sake that though this situation can be really irritating, I don’t feel as though I am in danger. While the men here can be rude, most abide by national unwritten “look but don’t touch policy.” It kind of has the same effect on a person that a little kid does when he waves his hands half an inch from your face saying, “I’m not touching you, I’m not touching you.” That said, I have to say that all Ecuadorian men do not fall into this category. In fact, I happen to know some very nice ones. Its just that the jerks really stick out.

While I am on the subject of unwanted attention, I have to mention that I don’t only receive it from the men. No, the women and children of San Vicente also take part in the long once-overs and stares. At first, it wasn’t that big of a deal to me. When people stared, I just smiled or said hello. (Both if I was in a really good mood). But my smiles and greetings weren’t returned as often as I thought they should be. Okay, so you know when you are running around, really busy, with a lot on your mind and you pass somebody you know? They smile at you and in your mind you smile back. But later, when you think about it you aren’t sure if you actually smiled or if you just thought about it? You feel bad, right? Well, I think Ecuadorians do that a lot. Except the only thing they are busy with is staring at you. And I don’t think that they feel too bad later about not smiling. I honestly wonder sometimes if I were standing next to an opera-singing zoo animal who would get more attention. Right, I’m foreign. I get that. And I’m different-looking. I get that too. But, its been two months people; maybe its time to get over it? I always appreciate when the uncomfortable stares are followed by a question. Such as, “how’d you get your hair like that,” “are you new here?” or “where are you from?” I would even welcome a, “hey, just wondering, why are you so weird?” But the silent, long stares are getting old. Fast.

Organization is not really Ecuador’s forte. Nor is efficiency at that. For example, the concept of the line doesn’t really exist here. When you walk into a crowded shop you push your way towards the front and try to distract the already busy cashiers by talking to them until they give up and help you. Even then there are 4 people behind you who are attempting to do the same. I realized this for the first time a while back when a 12 year old girl who had walked in about 7 minutes after me had her produce and was out the door while I still waited for somebody to help me. I thought that I had just come across some really rude customers before I realized that’s just how its done. This will take some getting used to.

Another thing that will take getting used to is Ecuador’s philosophy when it comes to discipline. I think that I noticed this for the first time when I was back with my old host family and Rubi (God love her) would throw daily fits with no consequences. I have noticed similar patterns on the coast with my family here. If the 3 year old wants something and is persistent enough, she gets it. If she doesn’t like what’s for dinner and causes a big enough scene, she gets something else. Today, the one-and-a-half year old (God love her) bit me. Hard. Right in front of her mother. In fact, her mother was holding her at the time. I whipped my arm away and the mother just laughed telling the baby “we don’t do that.” Somehow I failed to see the humor in it. We later talked about how I was third one the baby had bitten that day. And hey, I don’t blame her. If I were a baby and my mom laughed every time I bit someone, I’d bite anyone that got close enough too.
Pictured: Dominica, the teething one-year-old



Once, I was in my oldest English class, which is kids in their last year of high school so about 16ish years old. There are four boys in that class who are seriously awful. On this particular day they decided to take every one’s backpacks and hide them outside. When they came back they were carrying empty cake boxes from who-knows-where and began to throw them at their classmates, who got a little angry. Chaos erupted, and English class became a free-for-all. One of the other teachers came in and asked what was going on. I told her, and when she said that she was going to get the principal I tried hard to hide the smirk on my face. When the principal came in I told him what the boys had been up to and waited for him to give it to them. The boys, denied any wrongdoing to which the principal said, “alright, just try a little harder to behave next time.” I think my jaw actually hit the floor.

I could probably go on for awhile longer about things that I can’t accept right now, but I think you get the idea. The frustrating thing about this is that the littlest thing can A) set me off B) ruin my day or C) both. When locals ask me how I’m doing and I tell them about the things that have been hard for me to adapt to, I often get the “wow, foreigners are sooo sensitive” look. This makes sense because things that may be out of the ordinary for me, are very commonplace for them. And according to this culture shock thing, eventually these difficulties will no longer be issues for me either. The more I think about it, things are already headed that way.

The Acceptance Phase.
I can already see myself doing things that upon arriving I thought were kind of silly. I drink juice out of a bag, I eat green, unripe mangoes with salt and pepper, I claim to be cold when its 75 degrees out and I hate to say this but I even get into bad Ecuadorian soap operas. On one hand, part of me doesn’t want to accept certain aspects of Ecuadorian culture. On the other hand, I will probably sleep better, be less moody, and more effective as a volunteer when certain things no longer phase me.

In an attempt to balance out the tone of this blog, I would like to list the things that I really enjoy about Ecuador so far:
1) Juice. I’m a juice fanatic. Here, I have access to more kinds of fresh juice than you could imagine.
2) Juice boxes. Its perfectly acceptable for grown adults to drink out of juice boxes, so in that aspect I fit in well.
3) Climate. Where I live its never too cold.
4) The US Dollar. Holler.
5) Cheap movies.
6) The diverse landscape. You can see the Amazon, the Andes, and the Pacific in one country, all in a matter of days.


Oh, and I had a few requests for a wish list. And by a few, I mean one. Here ya go Heather!
- crayons
- markers (regular and dry erase)
- stickers
- hard candies that can travel (like jolly ranchers)
- cool pencils (Hannah Montana, High school musical, etc)
- coloring books
Those are things that the kids would like. What kinds of things would I like, you ask?
- books (I’m not picky)
- burned CDs of good new music
- sleeping pills (just kidding.) (sort of.)
- powdered lemonade
- celeb magazines (People, etc.)
- gum (Stride or Orbitz)
- pictures
- anything
- a letter (I’ll write back!)
- love
- I just like to get mail

Addy is in the "about me" section on the top right of the page. Make sure if you send anything is via regular US mail, under 4 lbs, and certified not ecomienda. Thanks!

Happy birthday Mom, Heather, Wheat, and Jakie.